Acacia has her first tooth poking through! It's really sharp too...ouch...lol.
Found a house in New Port Richey that we want. We're going to rent for a few months first. We haven't yet been able to live in the same place for more than a few months without getting sick of it, so we'll probably wait at least 6 months before making a decision as far as buying. It's a three bedroom 1.5 bath with a nice fenced in yard and a clean layout. I really like it. We haven't signed the leasing agreement yet but will probably do that tomorrow.
She's almost crawling. She drags herself around on the floor a lot and is getting into things. Hopefully we can get moved in before Acacia is speed-crawling and make sure her room is always clean. She pushes up on her hands and knees and rocks back and forth and then she goes back to lying on her tummy and dragging herself.
She's 7 months old today. That's exciting.
Dan's convinced I'm pregnant with twins but I keep telling him I'm not pregnant. He says there's a boy and a girl and every time we go to the mall he parks in the "expectant mother" spot but I keep telling him I'm not pregnant...
anyhow I realized something the other day. I had a check bounce last year when I had the money in my account. It was my rent check and the bank bounced it but the money was there. It was a mistake on the banks part, but... If they hadn't have bounced that check I wouldn't have had the money to pay for dan and I to get married. Meant to be? I kept asking for signs and sometimes I got them without even realizing but it's good becauuse I realized that at a time when I needed to more than when it happened
alan took me shopping and got me a bunch of clothes. It was fun until acacia fell out of her carseat and landed face first on cement... She has a bruise above her eye and on her chin and she cried forever. We took her to the hospital and they said she doesn't have a fracture or any internal bleeding and she should be fine. She wouldn't eat though so I got a fever. I've been sick all day feeling like a big achey bruise. We went to walgreens and got a breast pump to relieve some pressure but the fever hasn't gone away yet. I don't know what I'll do when acacia isn't breastfeeding anymore because this is miserable.
I had a fever like this for two weeks after she was born because I was producing more than she'd eat and it's not fun. My temperature was at 104 for a while. I don't know what it is right now.
I basically slept all day.
I'm glad Acacia is all right. She's stopped crying about it which is a relief but she's also been more needy since it happened.
Also, Dan bought me flowers. I got a dozen roses from him yesterday and felt really special. Then I told him the secret that flowers buy forgiveness and he said it's good to know. He thought I'd find it silly for him to get me flowers but I set him straight that they're a good thing.
I had too much tequila yesterday. I wasn't drunk but I couldn't walk in a straight line and everything was either hilarious or very upsetting. I kept going back and forth between crying and laughing but I got some good conversations out of it. Said some things I might not have said and asked some things I was scared to ask. And dan took good care of me.
We broke some random person's porch swing.
Dan threw us both off the jetski and when we fell off he landed on me so now my left side is really sore and it hurts to move my neck and my left arm.
Also, I'm a sprinkle cookie now. Yep, I have curly hair. It looks pretty good on me. Got it done yesterday. It'll only last a few weeks though but I like it a lot so I might have it done more permanently later.
There's a foreclosed house we're probably going to get. It's worth $130,000 but selling for $20,000. 3 bd 2 ba. And it's really close to the office we're opening.
I'm going shopping today. I want some sandals and a new swim suit.
Having less than $40,000 in our bank account makes me nervous...
I had all these ideas of how things would go when I got here and how it would feel and everything. Conversations we would have. I couldn't have been more wrong.
When Dan walked up to me at the airport, it felt like I didn't know him at all. Seriously, it was like we were meeting for the first time. I know I've been talking to him on the phone every day since I left, but his voice didn't sound familiar. His touch didn't feel familiar. I didn't remember him being that tall. It was so weird and uncomfortable. I was attracted to him, but it's sort of that same feeling I get when I'm attracted to a stranger. That, "I shouldn't be attracted to you, I don't even know you," feeling.
He picked up on it pretty quickly and I think it hurt his feelings. But he knew exactly what I needed to feel "at home" with him again, and now...it just, it feels better than ever, which is sort of strange because I didn't expect it to. I didn't expect it to be this good this soon.
Sometimes life and situations suck, but...it's going to be okay, oddly enough. We've both done a lot of changing while we've been apart, and not all for the better, but...I feel good. I feel happy. I feel like I'm finally where I belong. I remember why I married him and I remember why I love him so much.
I feel warm inside.
Strange as it is, I trust him more now.
I think I ate more today than I ate all week. Which is sad considering I had like, 3 slices of pizza, some watermelon, a piece of cake and a sandwich.
The Keys to Your Heart
You are attracted to obedience and warmth.
In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you.
You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy.
You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.
Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.
Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.
You think of marriage pessimistically. You don't think happy marriages exist anymore.
In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.